i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
