the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
