We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
