i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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