Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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