What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize