he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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