She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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