Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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