Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
