I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i barfeds in our rink
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize