Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
vagina is talking i cant
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
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