oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
