PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
