go do what you do best...puke behind churches
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
