Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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