I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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