i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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