What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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