remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
