I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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