so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
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I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sext me about skeletons
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.