Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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