Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize