i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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