u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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