He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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