batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I could make wine with my vomit
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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