Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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