I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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