Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
