I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
