the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You made out with two different species that night
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
