barbara walters just said penis...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
