Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
