I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
