Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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