You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
