Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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