It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize