Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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