An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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