If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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