a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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