Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize