I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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