I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
