I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
