I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
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YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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