dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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