please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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