I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
