Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
