You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
