I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
