Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
